Honesty."Is such a lonely word; Everyone is so untrue."

I’ve never had trouble with the concept or practice of honesty. I pretended a lot when I was a kid, but if anyone actually said “Is your leg really hurt?” or “Is your sibling really a boy?” or “Have your parents really been abducted by aliens?” I came clean.

When I broke a neighbor’s window playing “Knock, Knock, Zoom, Zoom,” I went home and got my mom and we came back with money to replace it. When I wanted to stay out late with my friends, I told my parents exactly why. I didn’t lie. I still don’t.

Most of the people I know do though, or can. I don’t even have the ability to do so. It’s something I just cannot comprehend. I find it more difficult to lie than to be honest. If something is true, then that’s just what it is. If it’s true, to me, it seems like something from which it would be impossible to hide. The truth usually comes out, I think. And if it doesn’t, the liar has to live with the lie. I can’t imagine that that is a comfortable thing. I don’t want to know any people that can live with lies. I don’t even want to know that any live on my planet.

I trust people pretty easily, but, not coincidently, I don’t expect a lot from people, generally. It sounds strange, I know. And not just because I ignore grammar while trying to appear to use it properly.

The most popular reasoning for lying seems to be to keep someone from getting hurt. The case too often becomes that said person gets even more hurt when he or she discovers the lie. Or maybe someone lies to save themselves anguish. They’re usually just postponing the feeling though.

It’s just something I’ll never understand. It just doesn’t make sense that one can claim to respect an individual, but then lie to the person. I don’t see how respect and lying can exist simultaneously.

“I can always find someone to say they sympathize;
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.”

It’s become apparent that I won’t enjoy that luxury any time soon. I’m ok with that. I just want to have fun and not worry. It’s hard to think that my best friend lied to me about something so important, but I can’t stop thinking of him as my best friend.

God, Billy Joel. Could I be a bigger dork?